Our lifelong healing journey

We feel naturally drawn to sharing with others the valuable insights we have gained during a crucial phase in our own lives. 

Once we start tackling our challenges, like trying to transform a habit or making changes in our life to improve our health and wellbeing, and we see the first signs of success, we start to think about sharing what we have learnt with others. 

Because that what helped us so well could also help them overcoming their own struggles. Such inspiration is always useful, even if only a tiny portion of it is taken away.

Peer deeply into yourself. There is a source of strength that will always spring up, if only you look.

Marcus Aurelius

Whatever resource I tapped into during the past 8 months of my recovery, there was always some hidden truth, some new and useful aspect. So I tried out the advice I found, took away the parts of it that served me and implemented them in my daily life. Building a very individual mosaic of helpful new structures that way – to support and to heal myself.

And it doesn’t matter how obvious some of the learnings might appear in hindsight. When we are ill, desperate or stressed out, we cannot see clearly. The mind is blocked. That’s why it is so essential to hear someone else pointing out the obvious. For me personally, that is often all it takes to turn things around.

Part of the learning and healing process is the eye opener when realizing our own tunnel vision: as if we were the only ones struggling, and all others had it easier. That is of course not so, and in our head we do know it. But it is the feeling which is creeping up and isolating us from ourselves during that difficult time.

The trials we undergo shape our views and self-perceptions. They also make us better coaches or advisors – whatever role we may choose to be of service to others.

A hero is one who heals their own wounds and then shows others how to do the same.

Yung Pueblo

The mission some people have is often borne out of their own problems and life experiences, and the ensuing desire to help others suffer less by sharing their stories. This applies to many inspiring speakers, podcast hosts or authors who have gone through difficult situations in their lives which left a significant impact on them.

Now, they focus on empowering others by helping them grow and giving them agency over their own lives.

When such people openly talk about how much they still struggle themselves while working on their own issues, not only does it increase their credibility but to hear it feels like a sort of relief.

Why is this aspect so particularly important?

We might think that the person in the spotlight has managed to fully heal themselves and moved beyond their problems. We might perceive them as someone who has successfully achieved the peace of mind we aspire to. But there is no such black and white situation. 

Don’t ever think that the author of a helpful book or podcast always handles life’s ups and downs in a successful manner. It’s a common misconception to assume that they have forever transformed their lives. But being human as everyone else they have their very own baggage to carry.

Everyone has their inner voice telling them “not good enough” – no matter how successful that person might appear from the outside. Especially in the face of adversity the “inner saboteur” comes to the surface so easily. 

But listening to their very personal stories of why and how they struggle and what they learnt on their journey makes it easier for us to relate. To have more self-compassion for not living up to our own standards all the time, for making mistakes and feeling frustrated by it. We are indeed not alone.

The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.

Rumi

It is all about balance. Having an aha-moment and learning from it, working on our habits, messing up and then trying again. And there will always be hard times when life just happens and we fall back into old patterns. The important thing is to realize what is going on, breathe deeply and then bounce back again.

It is constantly about getting back into balance – like being on a balance board. My movement upsets my balance but I try to stay on top of it. That’s what real life movement does. 

Whatever suffering we go through shapes us. In a way, it is a lesson teaching us to approach life in a far more powerful way. Therefore, especially in a difficult situation we need to have trust in ourselves.

Some inspiration from 2 impressive human beings I recently came across:

Inky Johnson:“Looking back at a life-changing situation, people usually ask ‘what did I lose?’ instead of rather asking ‘what did I gain?’” (podcast “School of Greatness”, episode 1483)

Yung Pueblo:“You have to love yourself to change yourself.” This poet and philosopher speaks about the importance of self-love and self-acceptance: going inward and seeing yourself clearly – seeing your truth – is the first step to healing.

More encouragement:

Always remind yourself:
You are not alone. 
Not the only one. 
It will pass. 
Be gentle with yourself.
Trust yourself.

Don’t look at the gap which you still want to close in the future, but rather at all the (small) achievements you have already made in the past weeks and months. You are not the same person anymore, compared to half a year ago. That is progress. We are continuously changing. 

I happily pass on some of the beautiful pearls of wisdom I found in Yung Pueblo’s book “Lighter”:

Be honest with yourself, open and compassionate. Accept yourself unconditionally, look at yourself in a non-judgemental way. That way we can connect closely with ourselves and be whole.

A real sign of progress is when we no longer punish ourselves for our imperfections. 

You are the key to your healing, not time. Hurt, trauma, and dense conditioning will continue sitting in your mind, impacting your emotions and behaviour, until you go inward. What heals is self-love, learning to let go, self-awareness, and building new habits.

Essentials to remember on tough days:
Practice patience
Accept what you feel
Do not punish yourself
Make sure you get good rest
Give yourself ample kindness
Accomplish smaller goals that day
Do things that will calm your mind
A bad moment does not equal a bad life
Struggle can be a space for deep growth
This current discomfort is not permanent.

This amazing book radiates kindness through and through, and a deep knowing that we humans are capable of so much more than we know.

Self-love is a sincere acceptance of the past, an agreement to make the most of the present, and a willingness to allow the best to occur in the future.

Yung Pueblo

Imagining how it would be like to be at peace with myself feels good. Right now it is a fragile notion – like a dream fading away just seconds after waking up – but leaving a certain feeling behind. All I know is that it’s the right path for me so, I’m taking that first step, exploring the unknown.

I encourage you who are reading these lines, to give yourself the space you need and allow all aspects of your personality to exist. That is freedom. Have trust and be curious where the road will take you, and embrace what you can pick up along the way.

We are on a lifelong healing journey and will never be done with learning, evolving and getting to know ourselves – until the end of our lives.

Eventually, I am confident to end up in a place where I am meant to be. 

And so will you.

Do the earth a favour, don’t hide your magic.

Yung Pueblo